Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Not our will but His!

So, I wrote a blog a little over a year ago about some stuff God was speaking to me. It was based on the idea of a Nooma video I had watched called Kickball, where Rob Bell says that God's idea of better is better. I expanded on that and talked a little bit about how it is easy for us to look at the bad things in our lives and easily say, God's idea of better is better, but how it can sometimes be very hard for us to look at the good things in our lives and say God's idea of better is better. I posted the blog onto this blog so you might have already read it, but if you haven't, check out the blog, God is Better. Anyhow, God has been putting this idea in the forefront of my mind and heart here recently as well, but kind of in a different light. God's idea of better for our lives, is definitely better than any idea we might have for our lives. I think the only true way we can live out this in our lives is to be like Christ in His prayer at the Garden of Gethsemane. Here is how that unfolds in the book of Matthew in chapter 26:39-44 "Going a little farther, he threw himself down with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if possible, let this cup pass from me! Yet not what I will, but what You will. Then he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. He said to Peter, "So , couldn't you stay awake with me for one hour? Stay awake and pray that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. He went away a second time and prayed. "My Father, if this cup cannot be taken away unless I drink it, your will must be done." He came again and found them sleeping; they could not keep their eyes open. So leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same thing once more." Not many of us find ourselves facing certain death like Christ was facing here in this story. But many of us find ourselves in a place where a difficult decision must be made or a place where God is calling us to something we might not exactly want to do. Many of times I feel my prayer being something more like this, "God I know what you are calling me to, but I am going to try my way, then, if that doesn't work, I will try your way." I ultimately say "Not Your will, but mine." What drives us to blatantly choose a path or life that is completely apart from God? Why, after time and time again, of our plans for our lives failing, do we continue to live in that same way? I think part of it is we forget the call of Christ. In the books of Matthew, Mark, and Luke in the New Testament Christ offers a similar call to those who desire to follow Him. He says "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." I often forget that he has called me to deny my own desires, that I must die to the wants of my life so that I might have Him place the desires of His heart into mine. (the previous part was written about 3 weeks ago, so if any of these next thoughts seem disjointed from the others its cause the might sorta be disjointed, but this is a work in progress just as my thoughts and life are) Dying to myself? I'm not sure I even know what that means. I'm not real sure that I know what that looks like. I mean, the picture Christ gave of this very thing was an amazing act of love. An act of love that should truly blow my mind, but sometimes I'm not so sure I live a life that is blown away Christ's act of love. I think my life might look different if I really lived a life that is blown away by what Christ did for me. In fact I know that in many parts of my life if I were to live a life that said, "Lord not my will, but Yours" things would look much different! A life lived like that would be a noticeably different looking life! So pretty much a short summary to a long blog is this. I desire to live a life where I say "Lord not my will, but Yours". But the truth of it all is simply this, I struggle big time trying to live a life that says that. I desire to die to myself, but yet I struggle doing that as well. I'm not sure if others feel the same way or have the same struggles?? If this isn't something you struggle with, the pray for those of us that do. But if you do struggle with this, can we as a community of believers be honest about this? I hope that we can. I pray that we live lives that not only say, but scream "God not my will, but Yours!". I pray that we can live lives that die to the desires of our flesh and have those desires replaced with a Holy desire for our Heavenly Father's work. I think thats about all I have to say about that. But one final thing before I close. (Pretty much this is me writing myself a note and a reminder) To hear or read something and say oh that was good or powerful or whatever (not saying that this was, like I said this is a note to myself that yall get to read) is not where it should end. If I am moved by something, I should truly be moved to action not just spiritually or emotionally moved. The words to the Lifehouse song Everthing come to mind "How can I stand here with You, and not be moved by You?" So, in the midst of a Holy God that is calling us to His will and to lay our lives down for His glory may we be moved to action, to change in our lives!

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